Every Xianxia Ever Written

This is part of my Wattpad “Every Book Ever Written” Novel, but I thought given the subject matter it’d be most appreciated with this crowd. I also wrote “Every Sex Scene Ever Written (By a 12 yo)” and “Every Zombie Story ever written” to name a few others. Would they be worth “porting” over here? Either way, enjoy this one.

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My name is Jang Yang. I have spent my life being made fun of and mocked because my profound veins were weak and womanly, and there is nothing worse than women, am I right, guys? Now, I’m going to spend the next 3000 chapters chasing after anyone with a vagina. Nothing ironic about that… Anyway, in the past, all of my attempts at forming a harem of girls failed because of those veins and how weak they are, but all that changed three years ago.

“Would you like ultimate power?” a crystal I randomly found in the stream asked me when I was twelve.

“Hell yeah, I would!”

And like that, I was given a second set of veins. Bigger veins. Manly veins. However, because I didn’t grow up with those mighty powered veins, they were empty. That’s why it’s been three years since then. I’ve been training in secret, filling my veins up for the day of trials.  That day was going to be today, so I needed to get going.

I started preparing to leave my hovel of a home. I was part of the Wu sect. They were the main sect in control of these parts, but because of my weak veins and my dad’s illness, the other Wu members walked all over my family. When my dad married my mom, he was a promising rising star, but an accident during training had damaged his veins, which he still blames for the reason I was born with such weak veins of my own.

Of course, now my beautiful jade-like mother was much higher than his station and many men looked on with jealousy over my weak, pathetic father having a woman as beautiful as she. As a result, she was frequently harassed when she went into town and took to having to wear baggy clothing and no makeup to hide her beauty as much as possible. If someone of the Wu family went too far, we’d be powerless to stop it.

Of course, while the Wu family were the heads of this city, this was actually a very small city, in a small region, in a very small country, in a very small continent, on a small world, in a small cluster of worlds, in a small multiverse. That’s right, multiverse. You’ll see that introduced again in chapter 8000 when I run out of other ways to drag this story out.

Suffice it to say, I was the bottom of the bottom, looked down upon by everyone. However, that was going to change starting today. As I was contemplating this, someone came up from behind me and put their hands over my eyes.

“Guess who!”

I smiled and turned to my beautiful sister. She had jade-like skin just like her mother, and green eyes, and long black tidy hair. Her body was frail and womanly and fragile and weak. Like, if you hit her body with a stick, her body would break. Not even like a thick stick. A twig even. You could beat my sister up with a twig. So hot.

“Hello, my beautiful sister.”

My beautiful sister’s jade-like skin flashed in a blush as she turned away. “No, big brother, please don’t look at me that way.”

I grab her hands and kiss her on the nose, “What way? My sexy, beautiful, hot, piece of ass but totally just platonic sister.”

“You know I must marry one the Wong brothers so that I can bring our family just a bit of peace.”

“No, you’re my woman. I won’t let any man have you, especially not someone from the Wong family.”

The Wong family were the worst of the bunch, constantly taking advantage of our family. Had father not had more power at the time, my mother, who’s basically an object, would have been Wongs. As a result, Father Wong resented my father for getting his dream girl, while Mother Wong resented my mother for being the one her husband really wanted. Basically, all of them are assholes, so you can understand how awful it would be if my sister ended up with one of their children.

In reality, I was only thinking about my sister’s happiness. I certainly didn’t have any incestuous thoughts towards her or anything inappropriate like that.

“Brother, your hands are groping my chest.”

I nodded thoughtfully, “Yes, just making sure they are developing properly.”

“Brother is always so worried for me.”

“Time for the Pap smear!”

“I’ll be leaving now.”

I slapped my sister’s rump as she walked out of the room and she gave me beautiful beaming smile and blush as she left.

“One day, I’ll marry you sister!” I declared as she fled the room.

Ah, that last part was also a totally platonic interaction. As a brother, it was my responsibility to let my sister only be with the best, and I’m it, so… you know.

I leave my home after giving my father and mother the proper acknowledgment as a filial son. As I headed to the temple, there was a woman who was being harassed by two boys. They weren’t letting her pass by on her way to the temple at all. I, of course, knew the two boys. They were none other than the Wong brothers.

“Please, let me pass!” The girl responded coldly.

She was also a beautiful girl, with long black hair and jade-like skin. She was so jade-like that she might as well be a rock. So sexy. She was also a childhood friend. She was one of the few people here who treated my family well. Well, I was going to make her mine because of it. That, and she’s also really hot. Other than my mom and sister, she’s the number one beauty of our city. Every man fancies her, including the Wongs.

“Don’t stalk off so soon, woman, If I have things my way your father will agree for you to marry me!” The older brother said.

“Hey!” I barked, causing all eyes to turn to me. “Don’t you guys know that two Wongs don’t make a right?”

“Oh, look brother.” The younger one snarled. “It’s Jang Yang. Even though I’m like engaged to his sister or something, let’s be really nasty to him!”

The pair looked down at me in absolute disgust, their eyes twisted with revulsion like I was a bug who suddenly stood in front of their path and started standing up to them.

“Today is the day all of that changes. Shortly, we’ll be ranked by the Daoists, and you’ll no longer be able to hide behind your family’s relative power.”

“Absolutely, soon we’ll be higher ranked Daoists too! You’ve inherited your father’s pathetic veins, Yang, don’t expect today to do anything but cement your place as a loser forever!”

“I disagree!”

The two men gasp, completely taken aback by my sudden defiance.

“Why you…”

“In fact! “I continued “… I think that in a few hours, you won’t even be lucky enough to lick my very feet!”

“This guy can’t even see Mount Tai in front of him…” He started.

“I’d even go so far as to say! You two, are poopy faces!” I interrupted him.

The younger brother ground his teeth in anger while the older brother spat up blood. The pair turn to look at each other and the younger brother gasps.

“Jesus! Big brother, you’re coughing up blood!”

“Yes, I do that when I get really angry.”

“Really? I mean, I’m no doctor, but are you sure it might not be something serious, like lung cancer?”

“I’m fine, I do it all the time.”

“That’s even less reassuring!”

“Look, let’s teach this Yang a lesson for daring to defile our name with his vicious tongue.”

“Rather than that, I think I need to take you to the doctor!”

“What are you doing, dammit, I said I’m fine!”

“Wait, now your bleeding from the ears. No, we’re going now, this ain’t right!”

The two brothers seemed to forget I was there as the younger brother dragged his big brother away as he seemingly bled from every orifice.

After a few moments, it was just me and the beautiful Jade girl Ying Ting. She turned to me and gave a nod.

“I’ll be going then.”

Wait, before you go!” I ran up to her beautiful jade figure and put my hand on her shoulder. “Oh, wow, you really are smooth as jade. And so ice cold, perhaps I should warm you up?”

“That’s a Jade Statue. I’m standing over here.” A girl’s voice came from my right.

I looked over at the statue. I did think it odd she was missing her arms. Ah well. Me and you will meet up later, baby. I abandon the Jade statue and walk over to the other object in the room.

“So, I just saved you from some mild annoyances. Do you love me yet?”

Ying Ting gave a snort. “I am the most beautiful woman in this village, so naturally I’m only concerned about increasing my own profound powers. I’m already more powerful than anyone else in this village, including the Wongs. The only reason I’d ever let a man touch me is if having sex somehow increased my profound powers and everyone knows that virgins have the strongest profound powers.”

“Yeah, but only if they’re women.”

Ying Ting nods, “Of course, but unless you’ve got some way of increasing my profound powers drastically through sex, this… just ain’t gonna happen.”

“Well, this story is written by a man so can we… yeah? Yeah… that sounds just super. See you in fifty chapters… naked.” I confirmed things with the narrator, and it turned out he totally could come up with a BS reason why she’d need my penis in a moment of distress.

Ying Ting rolled her eyes and walked away as I imagined her naked and all the things I’m going to do to her off-screen. I mean, you guys won’t experience it, but it’s going to be HOT. I mean, look at her, she’s so pale and thin and sickly. She just coughed and swooned! So hot. Well, live vicariously through me when the event happens. Totally HOT.

I finally made my way into the temple. All of the younger disciples were forced to line up in front of the gathered crowd on stage. An old man with white hair and white beard pulled out an orb and handed it to the temple elder. The elder started handing it to each person in line, one at a time as the pair watched closely. The color would turn into a blue, or a red, or a green, or some other color, and that meant something. It was your profound affinity. The strength the orb glowed furthermore revealed how powerful your veins were.

When the youngest Wong finally was handed the orb, it glowed in two different colors! Everyone gasped. A dualist! Who could have ever expected a dualist would show up in this smallest school at the smallest city in the smallest country, etc, etc…? The Wang family would rise in status substantially, to the point where my sister would be lucky to be his mistress. He gave me a condescending look as he finally handed the orb back to the old man who proceeded to pat him on the back with a smile. As far as his orb strength… oh, I don’t know, we’re just making up measurements here… let’s say 51 octopus. It’s a more than a lot, less than a lot-lot.

However, even though I just said all that like this was some kind of problem, I merely returned a flat and unimpressed look. With my new powered veins, I was certain would put out a show even more amazing. Ying Ting came up and grabbed the orb next. This time, it exploded in a rainbow of color.

“Holy Calamari, 95 Octopus!” The test instructor couldn’t contain his excitement as everyone broke into conversation.

I didn’t know what rainbow colors meant, but it apparently meant really powerful. Well, good for her. As expected of my future woman. She’ll be powerful… although never quite as powerful as me, of course. She’s only a woman, after all. God, I hope she loves me!

The orb continued to be passed from one hand to the next until it finally landed in my own. Ah, finally, I can show the world how powerful and awesome I am!

I reached out and grabbed the orb. At first, nothing happened. Wong’s smile seemed to be growing more and more until, without warning, the orb suddenly exploded. Glass shards flew out, striking the test giver in the face!

“Holy crap! Oh, freaking ow. I got glass in my eye! What just happened?”

“Ah, it appears the orb has spontaneously exploded.” The old man responded.

“Exploded! How does that happen?”

“Don’t know, this has never happened before. Here’s a spare.”

“Wait, you just said this has never happened before!”

“Yes.”

“Then why are you carrying an extra orb!”

“Ah, well, aren’t you glad I am?”

The elder priest sighed, grabbing the second orb from the old man and walking back over to me. “Alright, let’s try this again.”

He drops the orb in my hands. I stare at it. Once again. Nothing. There was some chuckling occurring behind me, but I didn’t turn to see who made it. Then, the orb exploded again!

“Ah, my other eye! Gossshhhhh… darn it that smarts…”

“Oh my, well, here’s another spare.” The old man pulls out a third one.

“Nope, no, nu uh. I’m not using your stupid exploding orbs no more. At least, not on this disciple. He is given 0 Octopus and blowing up orbs as his diagnosis.”

“Wise teacher, what does this mean for me?” I ask anxiously.

It’s the old man who answers. “Well, we’ve never seen this effect before, so effectively we can’t rank you. As a result, you’ll need to start at the bottom.”

“The… bottom?”

“A rankless, but that also has the side effect that you have no ceiling limit as well.”

“Huh?”

“Ah, well, to be frank, you’ll start at the bottom, but as you’re the first of your kind, we don’t know your limits. In a word, your potential is limitless. Only time will tell if you are the weakest of the weak or the strongest thing this world has ever seen. You’ll be constantly seen as complete trash by your peers until you prove to them your strength, one rank at a time. There are a thousand ranks… in the first profound realm, and there are like ten realms, so it’ll be a while. Plenty of time to stretch this story out forever.”

“Can’t we just assume I’m probably powerful and everyone can start treating me with at least the basest level of human decency?”

“What? Hah! No! To summarize, you and your family will be treated like garbage, until you steadily climb one rank at a time, getting your vengeance a handful of people at a time as the next progressively higher group continues to look down at you.”

“How long will this continue?”

“Oh, I don’t know, until you beat everyone up I guess.”

“Everyone?”

“Everyone!”

“Even you?”

“Especially me!”

I give a sigh as everyone stares down at me, most with superiority and disdain. Ah, well, either way, I’m going to rise to be the most powerful person alive. To protect my family, or for money, or women? Or something… does anyone really care? I’m going to be super powerful, let’s just leave it at that. But for the moment, I guess nothing was going to change after all. You’re just going to get the same crap, over and over again for the next 5000 chapters. Enjoy!

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Reincarnated As A Villager – Strongest Slow-life – Chapter 27

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-a pharmacist.

It’s common sense that there is a pharmacist or two in any village unless they sit at forefront of the human race like a Pioneer village.

Most learn from their seniors, as there are no institutions where you can learn. It’s rare to find a doctor who can diagnose outside of the King’s capitol.

Medicine doesn’t just involve the study of the human body like in the past, but also finding magic that can cure cuts and breaks.

Medicine can do stuff like lower fevers or treat poison, which is a culmination of years of gathered wisdom.

Well, at any rate, the role of doctor is passed down from parent to child, and this one has already been active as a pharmacist for more than sixty years.

Compared to the medical technology of my previous life, there is a difference compared to “Grandma’s Wisdom”, but in this age, there is no clinic in a rural town where driving is inconvenient. In this world, the pharmacist is a more general position.

It is a post which is important for the village that is surely related to the life and death of a person from birth to the graveyard, and they have as much voice as a village chief.

So, the pharmacists house, the Yakudokoro, is in the center of the village, built from wood and sturdy stone.

The reason for this is that the existence of the pharmacist is a life line for the village, and constant temperature control is necessary for the storage of some herbs.

When I opened the door to the drugstore, the smell of many herbs began to flow. You ought to get used to the bitter smells if you are born in the countryside, as you’ll smell the odor of livestock feces and demon giblets on a daily basis. By the time I was five I stopped noticing it.

“Obaba, are you alive?”

I called out to the inside of the house where no one was present.

Basically, medicine work is medicine making, so they’d be in the back studio.

“He’s alive.”

The voice of a young one came from the back. Kind of like a sister – errr – no, nothing like that. Yes. Ne-chan is the tenth disciple of the present Yakushi, and is a pharmacist apprentice who is now practicing, age 14.

One enters apprenticeship at about ten years of age, and the disciples are taught by doing, leaning by adventuring, herb gathering, and ecology on the field, and gaining experience at the medicinal branch office.

The survival rate is rather lower because they are fighting demons at such a young age.

Well, this is a village with a fixed population, and it’s impossible for there to be no natural disasters or demon attacks.

Well, fortunately this village had Oton and sister so the damage from monsters is usually minor. Natural disasters can also include water scarcity, and rarely famine, so the village’s ratio of pharmacists was high, but in neighboring villages it was usual to only produce one or two pharmacists.

“Well, Neve, are you studying hard?”

By the way, I’m the ninth disciple of Obaba and could be called a pharmacist. So, Neve is a sister disciple. A very cheeky, younger disciple.

“I’m working hard. I’m quite confident in my recent success.”

“Ha, ha, ha! If your keep at it, you’ll become a better pharmacist than me, Neve-kun!”

It’s not a translation thing. As a pharmacist came to be named, every day, every job is a steady progression with study. There is no goal there. This is the truth of disciples, that only through continuous work will they become a good pharmacist.

“Welcome back.”

He also welcomes me with a rumpled face.

Obaba is like a bean that had been grinding medicinal herbs forever. Obaba is 80 years old (who also seems to be too old to live that long). He’s the oldest in the village.

It seems unbearable to get older than this without having a quiet and soft personality. In this era, that’s an unusual personality trait. According to the talk from village chiefs, his personality hasn’t changed since long ago.

I don’t deny that at all, since he’s taught me not only medicine, but most of what I know.

This man is my teacher and is as important as my family.

“Neve, I brought food, help me take it off the carriage.”

The pharmacist is exempt from village taxes, and food is provided by the village and the village chief. However, it’s become more difficult. He lacks teeth these days, so Sepuru makes soft things for Obaba (and the live-in Neve) to help him out.

“Neve, I beg you.”

“Hah!”

Well, as always, I leave it to Neve.

“Sorry as usual.”

“I do not mind… Okan picked up a soup that Tota hunted and brought back along with firewood- no problem.”

“Well, well, I will thank you.”

I don’t listen to anything while I know my own abilities. I won’t marry until I’m seventy years old.

“I brought enough for ten days, but if it’s not enough, let me know. Well, I think it should be fine, but depending on the situation, food shortages might come up. Put this guy in the basement for an emergency, and it might be better if you make medicine more, because I will save it if you don’t.

Because he’s rumpled, Obaba’s expression is tranquil, a man looking up to his teacher. You won’t lose to any of the disciples as long as you read the atmosphere.

“Don’t worry so, I won’t cause trouble.”

“Sorry, same as always.”

“Do not mind since you’re doing it on your own.”

It is good that you understand. It is worthwhile to have been born in this world alone.

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Had to Post this Video

Usually don’t do this, but I rarely get my opinions validated (I know, shocking), and this video just happened to say exactly what bugged me about Smartphone. This focuses on the anime, but yeah, such a bland, boring anime from a bland, boring webnovel. Also makes some comments on what makes an OP character interesting.

Reincarnated As A Villager – Strongest Slow-life – Chapter 26

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“Oh, ba. The merchant is coming.”

Sari Bali is talking with Ben about such things.

“Auntie? What do they have?”

“I don’t know.”

Yup, I heard Sari Bali’s stupidity.

Even so it is a merchant…

Although I can’t say it’s complete, our home is pretty self-sufficient. We are able to completely gather food and tools. Well, I just have to buy clothes, but usually I get it when the peddlar’s wagon comes in once a month, and if I needed anything else, I’d put out a request with him.

That’s why it doesn’t matter if I have any connections with the general goods stall. Although it’s still good to touch base with the grocery stalls as they work the cashier every day.

Certainly, if I went down there, I could at least meet them. Well, I might as well give a greeting.

I headed over to the general shop while thinking about that.

Since it’s next door, it won’t take more than a few seconds.

“Hello~”

Because it is a general store in a rural village, the shop itself is only about ten tatami mats large, and the selection of items is not abundant, but if you live in the village, it’s a necessity.

… Most purchases at the general goods store involve trading one item for another, so the things found at the shop reflect that…

So, I will just greet the person who is standing behind the counter because I have no other interest to be there.

“Is something wrong if you’re calling me out?”

“No, I don’t need anything.”

I show a smile to a good-looking woman who could be called a proper country lady.

We don’t know each other well, but even in a small village failing to talk to your neighbors can influence things.

“Well, what can I do for you?”

Communication is important, but my communication skill is not high enough to keep me from talking to her. It’s kind of a mental attack…

“Do you have any meat yet?”

“Meat? Well, there is some, but why are you asking about meat?”

The general store is a general store after all, it’s not a grocery store. Well, adventurers will come and request preserved foods, but they don’t handle anything that would be put on a kitchen table. Can’t really speak for the city (stores) —, but because of the size of this village, the street venders are enough. Another thing is the barter system.

“Have you heard that a merchant ship entered the harbor?”

“Oh, I was hungry at the Sea Dragon and managed to overhear that.”

“The people of the merchant ship buy up food every day. Vegetables are fine, but the meat won’t last long enough.”

Well, I don’t know much about sailing, but knowing shipping ranges it’d be five to seven days by ship. They can load it with all sorts of things, but mostly it’d have to be rockhard bread, root vegetable soup, and dried meat.

It seems to me that the food preservation technology in this era is rather low. Bottling technology barely exists, as bottles are very expensive and small. Moreover, they are very easy to crack. You might be able to use them at home, but they’d be inconvenient to take on a voyage. It works far better just to pack in barrels.

“When did you first see the merchant ship?”

“About three days ago.”

“So, there had been no problems so far?”

“Problems? What problems?”

The pretty lady tilted her head. Well, you could call her a bit of a wild card at a general store like this.

“I don’t know much about merchant ships, but I do know that with a merchant ship, that could carry anywhere from two to thirty people. If there were forty people added to the village, the longer they stay the faster the food would decrease. I think with fishing no one will go hungry, but other foods will surely decrease as well. If you divide the vegetables up, not everyone would be able to vegetables in their home. Of course, a person could go pick some mountain vegetables, but who would go? Who would sow the barley then, a child or an adventurer? I don’t know everyone’s food circumstances, but I know a bit about what houses can afford. What will tomorrow be like, I wonder who will have enough food.”

There is not enough food in the village at the moment to cover a large number of people. This same problem can happen when a large caravan arrives.

“… that’s a big problem…”

“It will depend on the skills of the mayor on whether it will be or not.”

I do not have any authority on my part, even with the other kids. Well, it doesn’t hurt to ask, it’s not like I don’t care. I like this village. I had an attachment here. The people who live here are preferred. But the most important thing is family. If it comes to family or other people, I will choose family without hesitation.

“-I can’t take it any longer!”

I grab the hem of the skirt and wave it like someone in a bullfight before darting out of the store.

Oh, and the mayor isn’t really stupid, so I think we’ll manage somehow.

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Top Ten Least Favorite “Another World” Web Novels

As I was reading through my top ten “Another World” novels list, I thought it might also be interesting to write about my top 10 least favorite novels. This can be kind of difficult. If I hated something, I rarely read very much of it, so I must admit that while these are the novels I liked the “least”, they’re also the novels I most likely read the least. Still, I typically give every novel on my list at least 20 chapters. There are some novels on the list that were so meh that they really gave me no impression at all. I would read my 20 chapters and then, upon leaving, barely even can recall what happened. I won’t be including these. This is the list of the ones that left the worst impressions.  These are the ones I remember, and for some, wish I could forget.

  1. Reincarnator

This one sits on the bottom of my list because it’s a story full of extremes. There are parts I really liked. The another world theme is fantastic, and definitely in the first 30 some chapters there was a lot to love about this story. However, the story is very slow and drags things out for very long time. The pacing can be a mess, and I think the stories seeming complete lack of tying up loose ends, continuous characterization, or a clear direction really just destroys it. Every character introduced seems to disappear after their part in the plot of the story is done. Since the MC never communicates with anyone, the MC himself seems to have almost no personality. The story is written in a very much “making it up as he goes along” kind of way and around the time the story gets to the world tree the author stops explaining things and the story starts getting really congested and confused. If you can follow this mess, more power to you, but I’ll stick to stories that actually focus on the people and the events, not just the random meaningless goal of the week that author felt like throwing at him that was never mentioned before. And don’t give me a line about how it “gets good” 150 chapters in. If it takes 150 chapters for a plot to make sense… you have a badly written story.

  1. Doll Dungeon

There was nothing absolutely disagreeable with Doll Dungeon. It simply was abrupt, boring, and poorly written. The pacing is a mess. The reasoning is a mess. The progression is forced. This is a story that has nothing particularly bad with it, other than the fact that it just wasn’t very good. It has nothing to like, and nothing to hate.

  1. Grand Prize: Unrivalled Harem Ticket

This story is just so blatantly clichéd and choked full of wish-fulfillment that it permeates every inch of this story. The story is just lazy (you’ll see that as a recurring theme on this list). Besides using every cliché in the book, it also just pushes through and makes things happen without reason. The MCs capacity to strike out with luck is really the unrivaled part, and everything falls into his lap. Eventually, his behavior with women takes on a rapey vibe, although the story makes up silly plot conveniences to legitimize the rape. I don’t think you could write a more Standard Japanese Protagonist if you tried. He is literally the textbook example. In fact, this entire story is the textbook example of a harem isekai story, but not in a good way. It’s more in a shameless pandering kind of way.

  1. In A Different World With a Smartphone

Other than Slave Harem, this is the second webnovel I’ve been the most vocal about openly disliking. You might be surprised it is not higher on the list, but that’s because it doesn’t really offend me in any particular way. It’s just boring. The characters are flat. The dialogue is flat. And for a story with Smartphone in the name and all about him having his Smartphone, he doesn’t use it for anything important. Instead, he gets generic op abilities exactly as strong as he needs to overcome any obstacle, and that’s really all the story is. A guy goes adventuring, forms a harem, and… stuff… I guess. I had a discussion recently where someone told me Death March was boring and that this was good. Now Death March may take a long time to have some of the more amusing parts, but this one loses me before I can even get going. I can’t even get through the anime, that’s how dry and uneventful everything in this story is.

  1. The Amusing Other World Trading Travelogue of Net Auction Guy

This is a book I should have and would have absolutely loved. A Spice and Wolf style merchant story mixed with a magical portal allowing the protagonist and him alone to dance back and forth between this world and another world? What’s not to love? Well… just about everything the author did in it. The protagonist is a small time Net Auction guy, but because he’s a shitty person, he barely takes advantage of his access to another world. He mooches off of everyone around him, wants to rape his slaves, and oh yeah, of course the slaves suddenly fall in love with him for literally no reason. In fact, everyone falls in love with him for no reason. He does nothing cool, exciting, or clever, yet everyone wants to just bend over backward for him. In the chapters I read, he hadn’t done a single successful merchant thing, while spending days getting favors from companions for everything.

  1. Moon-led Journey Across Another World

I really wanted to like this story, I did. First, I struggled to get into it because the webnovel description is hard to follow. Then, I struggled to get into it because the translation is hard to follow. The story seems to just jump all over the place. The guy is OP’d, but it isn’t even addressed why. It certainly didn’t come from skills the god left him. The second the first girl shows up and she’s a pigmen (orc) that, I kid you not, looks like Miss Piggy, I found the novel impossibly hard to enjoy. The premise is good. Like I said, I want to like this story, which is perhaps why it leaves such a bad impression with me, because ultimately, whether because of translator or writer, it’s just something I can’t follow.

  1. The Reincarnated Vampire Wants an Afternoon Nap

Okay, yes, I don’t like lazy protagonists. I mean, I’m a procrastinator. I’m lazy. But when I’m reading a story… I don’t think it’s too unreasonable to want crap to happen, and when you have a protagonist who won’t even wake up to feed themselves, that makes the whole process a pain. This story makes my list because it’s lazy. Not just the protagonist, the whole story. The main character is OP… but it isn’t through some serendipitous event… this character actually tries to screw their character up because of how little shits they give about existing at all. However, apparently, the god planned to make them Op regardless because he was handed so many points that no matter how they were distributed he’d be OP. That, followed by the story immediately jumping into the “bandit attack” cliché immediately after, just showed a story written as lazily as the protagonist in it.

  1. Because Janitor-san is not a hero

I’ll openly admit I didn’t give this story a chance… but that is mostly because after three tries I just couldn’t get past it. Perhaps it isn’t fair that I blame the quality of the story on the very very very shitty translation job. However, every time I doubt it belongs on this list I just think about just how incoherent this story is, I remember the scene where a bunch of people are being teleported to another world, and their first reaction is to give the Janitor nasty looks and laugh at his expense as they instantly grasp the concept of a world they haven’t been to yet, and harass an aging janitor instead of worry about that whole “god exists and he’s sending you to another world” thing. An ahole student manages to swipe his soulsword away from him… and then I remember just how dumb that is. It’s just too dumb. I can’t give this story another chance.

  1. Cheat Skill: “Sleep Learning”

While I’ve never been a fan of the lazy protagonist, there are a few stories with lazy protagonists that did not make it on this list. However, a few authors think that if you write a lazy protagonist, you as a narrator can also be lazy, and that’s where this story fails. His power isn’t simply ridiculously op, it’s nonsensically op’d. The guy sleeps, and becomes OP. That’s about it. I think…. If that was all it is, there was something you could like about it. However, it’s also revealed that the guy is also a dickhead. He whines and demands food, expecting other people he doesn’t even know to provide it for him. Not only does his sleeping skill auto-kill anyone who attacks him, but he himself also will ruthlessly murder anyone who interrupts his sleep, because they interrupted his sleep. He functions with the mind of an absolute psychopath, not giving a crap about anyone and only protecting a village at his own “sleeping” convenience. Even this wouldn’t necessary give it number 2 on my list, except that the novel also tries to get you to see this story as cute! He’s an attractive boy, and so all the girls want to fawn over him, giving him food and rewarding his selfish, shitty behavior. He’s a freaking monster! But for all accounts, the story wants you to like this guy? To hell with that. It’d be like rewriting Friday the Thirteenth where all the girls giggle and hold Jason while he senselessly slaughters all their boyfriends and the story tell you how cute he is. It’s… freaking… gross.

  1. Slave Harem in the Labyrinth of the Other World

I’ve made it no secret that I hate this story with a passion. And the reason I hate it isn’t because it was so dry and boring that I threw it away. The reason I hate it is that it was just enough to keep me reading on and no. Hundreds of chapters… where nothing happening. If Death March is slice of life done right, Slave Harem is everything wrong about slice of lifes. This novel is nothing but a waste of time. It shows a very despicable protagonist… a complete chickensh*t who visits suicide websites for fun, feels like women owe him if he even talks to them, will openly eye married women and then condemn anyone who dares eye any of his slaves. His slave harem, every girl is as dry as wheat, saying the same lines over and over again in response to ANY action the MC takes. The harem is closer to a cult than a harem, and when they indoctrinate, abuse, and finally rape the fifth harem member, that was when I finally threw this novel out. However, if you aren’t blinded by the basic repetition, you’d have seen his constant rapist behavior and sexual manipulation of his harem from the beginning. But no, just like a rapist, this novel depends on soft touch tactics and continuous repetition to lull you into a sense of false security before ripping off your pants, throwing to the ground, and having its way with you. A shitty guy goes around with cardboard cutout women and fight in identical looking dungeons slowly and methodically one level at a time, chronically testing for every weapon, skill, ability, monster, and food… over and over again, every day… for all eternity. May god have mercy on our souls.

 

So, I’m really curious, what were your least favorite novels? Everyone has their triggers. It seems like mine are rapists, lazy protagonists, and lazy, derivative, crap.

Reincarnated As A Villager – Strongest Slow-life – Chapter 25

This chapter took so long because I struggled hard to translate it. Large portions were very difficult to understand (MTL-wise). Usually I’ve had a good grasp on most of this novel, but this chapter involved a lot of random guessing. If someone wants to fix the translation to something accurate, be my guest, but this is the best I could pull out of this chapter.

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“Are you here?”

I spoke as I opened the door to the adventurer’s guild (branch).

“I’m always here.”

The man with one foot on the other side of the counter declared crossly.

“Every time I come you say the same thing without smiling.”

“Perhaps I’m growing senile.”

Ahahaha. Funny coming from someone in his thirties.

“You just seem leisurely is all.”

Then again, if the adventurer’s guild was busy then that would mean something serious was going on in the village, so isn’t leisurely fine?

“If I got too busy I’d die.”

“Well, if you have that kind of attitude you could lose a foot.”

Truthfully, I don’t know why he lost his leg, but with a personality like that it’s not too surprising he lost a foot or two. No, it’s stranger that he’s still alive.

“What does a kid know?”

“Even a kid can understand what you say outright. If you don’t want to expose yourself, don’t talk. As soon as you talk you force your attitude on others.”

He turns red with anger, but I don’t worry about it too much. Just because the conversation didn’t go the way you wanted is no reason to scream and cry about it.

“Master, please calm down.”

The guild master’s shadow and receptionist of this adventurer’s guild is his younger sister. Yeah, she’s ten years old (probably be killed if she adventured). What is it about the country that makes people bloodthirsty for adventure?

That level of bloodthirstiness from a younger girl… – I’m sorry!

“Welcome, another request?”

“That is right!”

I answered with a smile and a salute for some reason.

“Heh, you’re still a child who does weird things. What’s your request today?”

… No, my life expectancy shrinks whenever I talk to this person…

“Easy, I’d like some older sisters to plant flowers in the flower beds for six small coppers.”

Even though my mental age should be above hers, I still feel mentally defeated when I talk to her.

“Well, I guess it’s an appropriate job for a big sister.”

“Ridiculous, I can not say such rude things to an older sister.”

It’d be like saying Dora-chan was an evil dragon! I don’t have that much guts!

“It’s because you’re so young that everyone acts like your big sister.”

No, it’s common law in the village not to oppose your sister.

“Well, it’s okay to accept this request. Even so, you give out strange requests, such as the maintanence of the flowerbed, out of your own pocket money. Why on earth do you make such requests?”

“Well, we’ll just call it community service.”

Separately, there is nothing particular I want to accomplish, but it’s nice if the village is beautiful. It’s just a side hobby.

“It seems that goblins have been appearing lately, is any of the sighting information being released?”

I asked big sister while watching Van and some others waiting for their assessment.

“Well, as long as you’re asking, there was a report of an adventurer party coming under attack from goblins yesterday.”

Goblins are unusual monsters (pests) and the encounter rate with them can be high anywhere you live throughout the year. For adventurers, it’s one of the most common demon (pests) encountered.

…Seems like the adventurer’s guild is taking it as a matter of course…

“What happened?”

Well, what happened? If it’s signs of a bigger group it should be reported to the adventurer’s guild, but it’s not clear and being the one to spread the fear could have some backlash. It would be better for me to keep silent, but if I value life here I should tell the sister. I do not know. Would you pass on this kind of information?

‘Tota also hunted down three goblins around the same area as Van’s subjugation… I’m just thinking…”

She seemed to understand what I wanted to say and put on a serious face.

“I understand. I will look it up with the guild.”

Well, just asking Van or another party to investigate. Then, if you capture some of them you can remove all doubt.

…However, this sister was looking on suspiciously…

“Hey, here’s the money reward. Please give my best regards.”

I ran away quickly from the adventurer’s guild (branch) before hearing things I didn’t want to hear.

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Time and Place – Chapter 13

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“Danelle!” Marideen shouted, “Be careful!”

Danelle giggled as she looked out over the edge going down into the small stream. The stream wasn’t deep enough for Danelle to be at any risk of drowning, but the edge she glanced over led to a steep, thorny three-foot drop. Marideen would rather not have to explain to her father why her little sister was all cut up and crying.

She ran quickly over to her sister, trying to pull her back. Danelle, deciding it was a game, danced to the side, giggling as she went. Her feet skirted along the edge of the steep decline, a foot slipping. She managed to catch herself before she went rolling down into the thorny bushes below, bouncing more enthusiastically as if to overshadow her near fall.

Marideen quickly decided to change up her tactics.

“Do you want to get closer to the stream?” Marideen shouted to Danelle, who had already run a fair distance away.

Danelle stopped and turned back.

“Mmmhm!” She made the noise loudly/Danelle made a loud noise of agreement as she nodded enthusiastically, a silly grin on her face.

Marideen knew a spot where there were no thorny bushes and the decline wasn’t quite so steep. She ran up to Danelle, offering a hand. Danelle looked at it for a moment before grabbing on. Marideen knew not to grab Danelle’s hand by force, or Danelle would resist. Danelle was always stubborn like that. Things needed to be her choice or she would fight you the whole way.

She began leading her little sister to the spot she knew was safe. Her father was at work and most of the staff that worked at her manor was inside, cleaning, cooking, and performing other duties for their father. Their nanny had given her permission to come outside with her little sister. She could barely see the nanny, sitting on the porch reading a book as they played. Her father’s estate was very large. The manor itself had about twenty rooms, and they had many acres of grass and forest to play in. This stream was one of many on his property but was often the smallest and closest to the house.

Marideen remembered once two summers before when a particularly strong rainfall left the stream as deep as the ridge Danelle and she was on. Her father had forbidden her from playing near it until the stream had settled down.  Afterwards, she had asked him where all the water had gone, but he was not able to get her a satisfactory answer. She tried to walk the distance of the stream to see where it ended up. After about a half mile, the stream became indistinguishable from the rest of the forested terrain around it, which boggled Marideen. The water had to have gone somewhere.

They finally reach the cleared area. It was still a steep drop to the trickling stream below but was more manageable than anywhere else. Marideen took a few steps down, her feet slipping. She ended at the bottom with a half run which she stopped abruptly, having to step over the steam before she could stem her momentum. She turned back to the decline, reaching up to help her little sister down. Danelle gleefully jumped out, fully expecting Marideen to catch her. Marideen made sure that she did.

Once she put Danelle down, she ran up and down the stream splashing and giggling as she ran. She briefly searched for fish, before Marideen told her the water was too shallow for fish. Marideen watched as Danelle threw rocks in the water, danced in the water, ran in the water, and even tried to splash Marideen with water, which Marideen did not find nearly as amusing as her sister did.

After playing for an hour or two in the stream, Marideen finally convinced her little sister it was time to head back up to the house for something to eat. As she finally got Danelle up over the incline, she glanced back at the house. There were two grisly looking men walking towards her. She put her body in front of her sister, shielding her from the two men. The men were large, perhaps the largest men Marideen had ever seen. She felt afraid but squashed down the fear the best she could.

Danelle pointed at the men, “Who are they?”

Marideen shook her head, not being able to answer. However, as the men drew closer, she began to recognize one of them. He was a retainer of her fathers, a sword master named Beiromon. She vaguely recalled that he would start training her sword mastery in a year or two.

“Are these the Cleefe children?” the other man asked Beiromon.

“Yes, they are. Are you sure about this?”

“We have to. We don’t have time,” the first man said, and then pointed two fingers out, one at each of them. “You two. You’re coming with us!”

The other man slapped him on the shoulder with the back of his hand, “You’re scaring them half to death, you idiot.”

“I…I’m not scared!” Marideen spouted out.

“Is that so?” Beiromon asked, one of his eyebrows rising.

Marideen straightened her back, puffed out her chest and attempted to look menacing. The two men exchange a brief look before turning back to the girls. They had a look of sadness in their eyes that put Marideen on her guard. The other man took a step forward, dropping down to one knee. He looked Marideen in the eyes with a straight face, an honest face.

“My name is Maximil,” the man said, waving a hand to the other man, “and this is my good friend Bieromon, whom I believe you know… We’re here about your father, he’s in trouble…”

Before long, Marideen and her sister found themselves in the back of a truck, hidden by piles and piles of blankets, clothing, and other junk that Maximil had piled in there. They had been lucky. As the truck pulled down the street, she could see several armored vehicles driving by. She could almost hear the sound of the doors being kicked into her manor. She hoped her nanny was alright. She hoped everyone who lived there was alright.

As the truck drove noisily down the road, she realized she could hear sniffling, barely audible over the loud engine of the truck. She looked behind her to see Danelle. She was visibly shaking and tears were streaking down her face as she let out another sob. Marideen pushed herself back to Danelle, embracing her.

“It’s okay,” Marideen attempted to reassure her, “I’ll always watch after you, and I’ll always keep you safe.”

 

*****

 

Marideen’s eyes snapped open as the escape pod shuttered. They were now approaching the atmosphere of the planet. She made a quick check of her harness. She knew her eyes were rimmed red, although she had not cried yet. It was the exhaustion, physically and emotionally, at least she tried to tell herself that.

She glanced over at the corner where Berret sat. He was unconscious at the moment. Markus has found a med kit on the escape pod and had performed his best to stem the flow of blood and keep Berret alive. But as he had told them at the time, he was not a doctor and could only do so much.

Markus and Maximil sat across from her. Markus’s eyes were closed as if he might be sleeping, but that was never an assumption anyone should make. Before he had closed his eyes, Markus had told them he had activated the homing beacon for their ship on a hidden frequency. He personally has selected and hired this ship, so it was unlikely the Taerrens would be able to find them first. At least, that was what Markus had assured them. After that, no one spoke, and they all sat in silence. The men avoided looking at her as if they saw something in her eyes that troubled them.

The involuntary nap had done little to help Marideen feel rested. If anything, she felt more exhausted than she had ever before. The pod shuddered again as they hit the atmosphere. Marideen could feel the pressure against her body as the g-force within the pod increased.

Could she have done something different? She kept running the scenario through her mind again and again, but she didn’t seem to be able to separate her thoughts properly. The boy, the one she had left behind, kept flashing into her thoughts. This, in turn, made her feel guilty. Not guilty that she had left him there, but guilty that she was thinking of him instead of her sister.

Her sister was dead. There was no denying that. More, her father was also most likely dead. If he wasn’t dead, he would be a captive somewhere. However, she couldn’t think of that right now. They were not out of danger yet. The lot of them could still end up in a cell easy enough.

Everything from this mission had gone wrong. Her father, how could he have blundered so completely? Someone had betrayed them, it was the only answer. Marcell, the farmer, had the capacity and the motivation, but Markus rejected the possibility outright. It still seemed like he had done it. Maybe Markus was in on it as well. That was a ridiculous notion. The light left Danelle’s eyes.

She began to mentally prepare for the steps ahead. First, they would need to get free and lay low. They would need to find Berret a doctor and get him patched up. Then, she would have Max get a hold of all his contacts to find out exactly how bad the damage was and how much information has now been leaked to the Taerrens. The Lancers would never be the same again, this she knew. Danelle collapsed to the floor.

She would find out if her father was alive, find out where they put him, and plan a rescue just like they had done for Berret. However, she wouldn’t make the same mistakes of the past.  She would find proof that Marcell had betrayed them, and she would get her vengeance on him. Her mind worked busily, but she was unaware of the tears dripping down her cheeks, making no attempt to wipe them away.

The parachute eventually was released, causing a sudden jerk in the pod. After that, the pod dropped slowly down to the planet. It took several more minutes before striking with a sudden unexpected thud. Markus checked the radio transmissions and after a little bit, he nodded to himself. They would be picked up soon. Danelle was dead. Marideen ignored the voice nagging at the back of her mind.

“They will be coming soon, so it looks like my device worked. The native homing beacon is jammed and our beacon is transmitting. We should be back in orbit and heading to the nearest jump gate before the Taerrens even find this pod.” Markus said reluctantly, still avoiding her eyes.

“Good,” She responded, feeling like something needed to be said in response.

This didn’t have the desired effect, as her words seemed to echo in an awkward silence.

“Birdy… we….we’ll get your father back. He escaped, he had to of. Then he will get everything straight, and things will be like they were…” Max’s voice trailed off as he realized what he was saying.

“Like they were before,” Marideen completed his sentence, her voice steady. “Good, we have much planning to do.”

“Are… Are you alright, birdy?” Maximillion asked hesitantly.

“I’m fine,” Marideen replied, standing up and looking over Markus’s shoulder.

She really was perfectly fine. Her sister died, but she couldn’t undo that. There were things that needed doing now. She had to get to work, to keep things going. The Lancers would need her strong and whole and capable. The escape pod jerked as an attachment clamp clicked into place in the above hatch. Funny, Marideen hadn’t heard the ship get close. On most planets, you could hear a ship from miles away, although the tone was always different depending on the composition of the atmosphere.

The hatch above them clicked and clanged as the arm attached to place on the outside of their hall. Marideen could hear a loud rush of air as the arm pressurized between the two ships. A few more moments later, Markus declared that they were ready to board the ship, and began opening the hatch. Danelle, lying there in a pool of her own blood. That was also strange; it usually took about ten minutes for the arm to normalize in pressure. This seemed so much faster.

She tried to go towards the ladder to enter the hatch, which Markus had opened after turning the adjacent wheel a dozen times. However, she realized she was sitting. She certainly didn’t remember sitting down. Danelle, dead. She shook the thought from her mind. Standing up she began walking towards the ladder to find that her legs didn’t seem to be working properly.

She collapsed to one knee, and before she realized it, a large sob escaped her throat. Maximillion was there, but she was scarcely aware of him. She had trouble breathing, why couldn’t she breathe? She couldn’t remember to breathe. Danelle. Dead. She collapsed the rest of the way. She didn’t know if she hit the ground or if Max caught her. She couldn’t feel anything anymore, anything but the pain bursting through her body. Danelle was dead, because of a boy with hazel eyes. Those were the last thoughts that haunted her into unconsciousness.

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