Hawtness – Volume 2 – Chapter 1

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Idol Hearts

“IDOL HEARTS, AND IDOL DREAMS. THE DARKNESS OUTSIDE, AND LIGHT BETWEEN.” The words blasted as Demetrius began to next part of the song.

“Oh my God, Isn’t Demetrius the best!” Samantha shouted, jumping up and down and screaming.

Demetrius was dancing on stage. He wore black leather chaps and a black vest with nothing under it. This bared most of his chest and abs for his audience to see. His well-oiled body glimmered in the stage light and his ear piercing shined. Behind him a fire erupted as he jumped towards the crowd, gyrating his hips.


The chorus of screaming teenage girls reached an all-time high. I covered my years, certain that the noise insured I’d need a hearing aid by the age of forty. Samantha noticed me covering my ears and jabbed me in the side.

“Lighten up!” She yelled, “You should be glad you’re out of the house.”

“I am, I don’t know how you talked my mom into ending my grounding day early!”

“Well, I’m special,” Samantha grinned at me, “Just stop playing naked twister with your brother. Or if you do, don’t get caught.”

“He’s my half-brother, and he’s adopted. Why am I even defending myself, it’s not what it looks like!”

Samantha shrugged, “I’m just saying, I knew you were kinky with some of the fan fiction you buy off me, but I didn’t think you were about family fun.”

“This coming from the girl whose first kiss came from her cousin.”

Samantha stuck her tongue out at me, “Well, my pet beagle wasn’t in the mood.”

The two of us giggled; that helped my mood a little bit. This last week had been a nightmare. The uncomfortable atmosphere that transpired after I had gotten some clothes on was unbearable. My mom had given me an uncomfortable talk about how when she was a girl, she had urges to experiment too. Alex got a little bit of the berating too, for failing to be the big sister and letting it happen. Between the three of us, we were able to explain an assortment of accidents that led to the event happening. I still ended up grounded for a week.

After mom grounded me, Tomodalton had moved into the last empty guest room in our oversized house. I had Alex to relay messages for me. One by one, all of the boys in my life went to check on me at the house. While my mom intercepted each of them, she had quite a bit of fun having long conversations with each and every one of them in excess. Alex wouldn’t tell me what was said while I was stuck up in my room, but the words “chastity of my daughter” were used a lot. Alex assured me she vouched for me in these circumstances, but I wondered how good her word was at this point.


“You know, Alex loves Demetrius. He’ll be so jealous we went without him.” I spoke before I was able to stop myself.

“Alex, the hawtness boy is in love with a boy popstar? He did always seem a little fruity. He being gay makes so much sense.”

I frowned, deciding not to correct her assumption. It was better this way.


The song ended to more shrill cries of adoring fans. Demetrians were what the fan-girls called themselves.

I leaned towards my friend. “Samantha, you’re drooling,”

She wiped her chin, giving me a ‘but out while I’m having my fun’ gaze, causing me to chuckle. The fan-girls were more entertaining than the concert. I heard one girl encapsulating a group of teens. She had a Kleenex that she swore Demetrius had wiped his sweat off on. I shivered at the idea. I wondered how much his used jockstrap would go for. On that note, Samantha had propositioned me to acquire certain personal items from my h club friends not too long ago. I refused her, of course, but the implications of her request were now starting to dawn on me.

“Hello my sweet little minions. It’s been great playing in my hometown.”

That was Demetrius talking up on the stage. He liked to call girls is little minions. His whole stick was a cross between an emo and a pop singer. He wore dark clothing, and slick black gelled hair, and had tan-less white skin. He even wore fangs some times. Most of his songs were about darkness and love. He had pulled off his vest now and was dangling it over stage. Several girls seemed prime to have him throw it out into the audience. I hoped he had the decency not to, it was likely to cause a riot.

Samantha slapped my chest several times with the back of her hand as she stared up at the stage with an appearance of awe on her face.

“What is it?” I hissed.

“It’s starting; he’s going to do it, he’s going to do it!” She was still hitting me with her hand, but I think she had forgotten it was even there.

“So what?” I snapped, grabbing her hand.

“He’ll pick a girl from the audience and she gets the royal treatment in his changing room.”

“That sounds a little pedo to me, everyone here’s a teenager.”

“He’s only seventeen himself, besides, Demetrius would never force himself on a girl!” Samantha seemed to have a little anger in her voice that I would even imply that.

“Tonight! One lucky girl will have the chance to go back stage with one of her friends and meet me personally!”

Another shrill cry of teenage girls. I’d need that hearing aid by the time I was thirty now.

“And the lucky winner by completely random drawing is…. Jane Averygail.”

There was a collective sigh as people cried out in sorrow at not having been selected. Samantha started screaming and bouncing, her hands on both of my shoulders.

“This is Jane, this is Jane. We’re coming, don’t forget us!”

This wasn’t fair. I tried to be a good daughter. I tried to treat people like they wanted to be treated. I always ate my vegetables. Why was it always me? Wait, was that why Samantha invited me to this in the first place? She realized that I always end up with the guy and so she brought me along? That evil woman. Still, I’d be late if I went backstage. Mom told me to head home as soon as the concert let out.

“Samantha, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Samantha spun me around, pure malevolence in her eyes, “You don’t screw this up for me, Bitch, I will cut you.”

“Samantha? You’re hurting my shoulders a little, Samantha. Samantha?”

The look on Samantha’s face looked feverish. I did have some dangerous friends, and I wasn’t talking about the werewolf or the demons.

“Alright, we’ll go!” I threw up my hands.

Samantha laughed, turning me back and pushing me forward like a shield through the crowds of angry teenagers who wished they had been picked. At any moment, I was expecting to get shived. Relax, Jane, this is a pop concert, not a prison.

Samantha pulled me into a side hallway and led me down the path leading to the backstage and an intimidating security guard. As the two of us approached him, he looked me up and down.

“Are you the Jane girl?” he asked in a deep voice.

“Yes, she is,” Samantha answered, “and I’m her plus one!”

The guard sneered, “Yeah, he’s been waiting for you.”

There was something very ominous about the way he said those words, but with Samantha next to me bubbling with excitement, I decided to not say any more. The result might be her punishing me in ways I might regret. I didn’t know what kind of tortures my friend could devise, but based on some of the fan fictions she has written of late, I’m sure it’d be both painful and would prevent us from ever being able to look each other in the eyes again.

The guard moved aside, and once again Samantha was dragging me into the next room. It was a large area with a table full of a broad assortment of untouched food and several couches as well as a big screen TV. The room seemed to be decorated with Demetrius in mind. Dark swaths of fabric and several antique candles on stands were laid out across the room. I figured it was supposed to be gothic and edgy.

The door opened from the other end, and Demetrius walked in from the stage. He didn’t have his vest with him. I suppose some lucky girl was walking home with it. He had a towel on and was wiping the sweat from his face. As he walked closer to me, Samantha grabbed my shoulder as if she was having a heart attack. That wasn’t the part that worried me. What did worry me was the growing sense of similarity emanating from this man. I had met him before, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Well hello, Jane, its great having a chance to meet you like this. I’m glad you chose to come to the concert. Did you enjoy it?”

Before I responded, Samantha pushed in front of me, moving up to the familiar pop star, “Mr. Demetrius, I have to say I am like your biggest fan. The biggest fan ever. I love you. I’m in love with you. Are you single? Do you have any naughty piercings? Can you read my fan fiction about you? No, of course you don’t want to read that. Can you sign my breasts? I suppose that’s inappropriate. How about my butt? I’m not asking that because I want to show you anything inapprop-”

Demetrius smiled throughout her entire barrage before lifting one finger and putting it over her lips. Samantha stopped, letting out a small whimper. Demetrius leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Samantha’s jaw went slack and she started letting out an elongated moan. He backed away, eyeballing her for a second before turning to look at me.

The familiarity got to me, “I recognize you from somewhere, don’t I?”

“Yes, but your friend appears to be foaming at the mouth.”

“Forget her, she’ll get over it. Who are you?”

Samantha’s eyes rolled back into her head and she fell back, collapsing onto the ground with a solid thud.

“Oh my god! Your friend just passed out unconscious.”

“She does that, ignore her. Why are you so familiar to me?”

The unintended scrutiny from me seemed to unnerve the pop star a bit, he gave a nervous smile and put a hand up to his hair, slicking it back. The way he looked when he did it, doubtful and unsure of himself, stirred my memory even more. I recognized that face. It was the face of a man far less muscular and well-oiled who lived in a dark room and wanted to die.


The boy broke out into a giant smile, “I knew I couldn’t pull one on you!”

“Oh my God, Victor, you’re a teen popstar?”

Victor laughed, twirling around in front of me, “It looks good on me, doesn’t it? I know, a little too bright and upbeat, but I try to keep it dark and vampire-like. Can’t forget my roots now, can I?”

“Oh wow! I never realized you’d accomplish so much!”

“Oh, well, with 50 years of prep time, I started going to the gym. A night gym of course. Gained some muscle mass, started doing the beauty treatment. Wandered around for a while as a vagrant. Learned to use a variety of instruments, after that I joined KISS for a while.


“Yeah, the heavy metal band that wears all the makeup. Did that for a while, but they got a little too extreme. Scared me away from them.”

“KISS was too extreme for an immortal vampire?”

“Well, they wanted me to bite the head off a chicken.” Victor shook his head in disgust. “Now, I may be an immortal blood sucking monster, but murdering a defenseless chicken for entertainment is too far.”

“Sounds like you have a good sense of morality.”

“Exactly. I was like, now I’ll eat a rat or a small puppy just like the next guy. A vampire needs to eat after all…”

“Okay, now you’re oversharing.”

“But I’m not going to suck a used tampon on stage.”

“Yeah, definitely oversharing.”

“Well, anyway, I went low for a while after I ditched them. Eventually, the boy bands started to hit the scene. I popped out a few hit singles and here I am!”

I was in the middle of a nod when an idea occurred to me, “Your first hit single was ‘Jane’s Dilemma’?”

That stopped Demetrius’ barrage of words in its tracks. He gave me a slow nod.

“And that song is based on everything I told you?”

Demetrius hesitated a second before nodding once again.

“And in the end of that song, Jane gets with you…”

Demetrius did not respond this time, giving me a blank look.


Demetrius let out a long, drawn breath before answering, “Jane, in the last fifty years, I’ve done a lot of things. I’ve been with a lot of women. However, always in the back of my heart, I felt unsatisfied. I felt incomplete. I felt like half of a vampire. Do you want to know why that is, Jane?”

“Not really.”

“It’s you, Jane.”

“You did drugs in the 70s, didn’t you?”

“I’m serious, Jane. No matter who I was with, no matter what I tried, I always missed you. You filled a hole in my heart when you visited me those fifty years ago. When that time traveler of yours took you away, I was lost. However, I waited. I waited years to be with you. I’ve waited all the way up to now.”

“Why don’t I like the way this is sounding?”

“Jane, in my current identity, I am only a seventeen year old boy. I’ve talked with my manager and I will be transferring to your school effective immediately. I’ve even talked your club advisor into letting me join the H club of yours.”

“Mr. Xavier let you join the H club?” I grimaced.

“Let me? Not a bit. He even tried to do a partial possession of me to force me to leave. Ghosts.” Victor chuckled. “They act like they can walk over anyone, but you’d have to be an idiot, practically braindead for a ghost to take you over.”

“Suddenly, why he possessed Alex makes so much sense.”

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing,” I redirected before sighing, “Victor, we barely know each other.”

“That’s the thing, Jane, I know everything about you. I’ve checked up on you your entire life. I even met your mom for a brief period.”

“Victor,” I pinched my nose, fearing the next question, “Please, tell me you didn’t sleep with my mother.”

The vampire froze for a second before speaking, “Yeah, I can say I didn’t sleep with your mom.”

“Victor, why did you emphasize it when you said ‘sleep’?”

“No reason.”


“Okay, we were drunk!”

“No, Victor!”

“I assure you, we didn’t get past second base. Besides, that was like six years before you were even conceived. It isn’t cheating if you don’t exist yet. I haven’t slept with anyone, your mother included, since you have been born. I swear it.”

“You promise?”

“I promise, Jane.”

Why did I even care if he promised? I wasn’t going to go out with him. This was just all kinds of messed up. It was the final straw. I was done. No more boys would enter my life, supernatural or otherwise. I would take the eight I had already acquired and cut my losses. This was it; I was done.

“Is… you’re friend going to be okay?”

I looked down at Samantha. She was still unconscious, although her eyelids were still open. Her eyes were rolled so far up that all I could see were the whites.

“She’ll be fine; it looks like she is still breathing.

“This kind of thing happen often?”

“A few years back I took her to a Bieber concert. She tried to force herself past a security guard twice her size to get to him. Ended up being beaten down by a three hundred pound former wrestler until I convinced him that she was a thirteen year old girl and it wouldn’t look good on the news.”

“Wow.” Victor shook his head in amazement. “Hey, do you want to draw stuff all over her body with a magic marker?”

I smirked, “I would love to.”


“I want in.” Samantha demanded as she stormed into the art room like a whirlwind.

“You want in what?” I asked, deciding it was my duty amongst the group of boys to answer my friend.

“I want into the Helping Club.”

“The… helping club?” I asked in confusion.

Mr. Xavier coughed, “I thought it was a more appropriate name for the H club than the one you had previously chosen.”

Most of the other boys looked confused, but Rune snickered to himself.

“Either way,” the teacher continued, “The H club is at full capacity. I’ll tell you what I told another boy, Allan, this morning… you cannot join this club right now. Maybe next year.”

“But you let Demetrius join!” Samantha pouted.

“Demetrius,” Mr. Xavier grimaced, “Was an extenuating circumstance. But given all his other pop star duties he hasn’t even had time to come to a single meeting, so it is like he isn’t even in the club to begin with.”

Samantha turned to me, offering a puppy-dog eyes that rivaled Daniels, “Jane, talk some sense into them. You owe me after you ran off with Demetrius and let those random strangers write all of that stuff all over me.”

I nodded with a straight face, “Yup, I did that, I apologize for letting those random strangers mark you up. I came back in time and was able to chase them away and protect my friend.”

“You did, and that’s why you’re such a great friend, but come on. Throw me a bone here. I mean, what does this club even do? Have you even helped anyone yet? I swear all you do is wander off into the forest at night and… and…” Samantha’s eyes lit up, “Are you guys some crazy sex cult? Do you guys have sex orgies in the woods?

“No!” Andrew shouted at the same time Alex said, “If only.”

“Although,” Samantha seemed to speak aloud to herself, “That does give me an idea.”

Samantha typed something into her phone before turning back to us. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out. There was a new tweet. ‘New fanfic will be released tonight. Stay tuned. It’s a hot one!’ I rolled my eyes, putting the phone away and becoming a little more wary of the eager look in Samantha’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, Samantha,” I spoke up before anyone else thought to. “I’d help you if I could, it’s just the rules are the rules.”

Samantha sighed, turning her head down in a look of defeat, “It’s a shame too. Your group has such a massive guy to girl ratio. I figured this would help even them out.”

“Wait,” Mr. Xavier stopped her as she moved out the door, “What was that about?”

A little smirk appeared at the corner of Samantha’s mouth, “Oh, it’s just that right now, you have what, eight guys and one girl? I assume Tomodalton’s in the club even though he’s too shy to show up at a group meeting. With another girl here, the boy’s attentions might not be so focused on one girl. Do the math.”

That little snake! I fought the urge to growl at her. So this was how she was going to play the game? Well, Mr. Xavier wouldn’t fall for such a silly little trick!

“Deal!” Mr. Xavier nodded, “You’re in!”

“What?” I spoke up at the same time as seven other voices.

“I am the club advisor; I make the decisions, and I say she’s in!”

“I don’t think it’s really a big deal if another girl joins,” Daniel spoke up.

“Yeah, I bet it’ll be fun to have another girl here,” Alex winked at Samantha.

Samantha brightened up, “Yeah, I’d love to go shopping with someone gay! I’ve never had a homosexual friend before.”

“I… what?” Alex’s eyes widened, a confused expression on his face. Rune ended up spitting up his drink, laughing.

Samantha put on a worried look, “Oh, you’re not gay?”

Alex pouted, “I’m bisexual.”

Samantha froze muttering something under her breath I could barely make out, “God that is so hot.”

“Samantha, you’re drooling,” I told her.

“Huh? What? Yeah…” Samantha wiped her mouth.

“Okay!” Mr. Xavier intervened, “I believe this has been a productive meeting. Let’s adjourn for the day. I’m chocked full of so many papers to correct. Who knew being a teacher involved this much work?”

The group got up and started filing out. I picked up my fur purse and books and headed out with everyone else.

“You heading home?” Alex asked me.

“No, I think I’m going to stay here a bit. Mom’s going to take Samantha and I to the mall once she lets out of ballet practice.”

“Yeah, I have to stay later too. Andrew asked me for some help moving some stuff. I guess he was suckered into volunteering to help with some class rep stuff.”

I looked back at Andrew, who seemed to be chatting with Stephan and Rune. Stephan seemed normal enough, anyone would get along with him. However, Rune sticking around to chat, even if he looked angry about it, was surprising to me. Maybe the two didn’t hate each other as much as they pretended to.

“Andrew asked a demon for help?”

Alex gave his atypical throaty laugh, “He said he trusted me, after everything we’ve been through. I can’t let him down now, can I?”

“No, definitely not.” I smiled back, giving Alex a tight hug before we parted.

Of course, I wasn’t planning on just wondering around the school until Samantha let out per say. I was there on a mission. In the past, I would head down to the park in order to find some space and seclusion. However, that hadn’t been working for me. It seemed like every time I went to the park, I ended up with another boy in my life. If I could find a safe, secluded space in school, on the other hand, I wouldn’t have to suffer any more strange encounters.

I was halfway down the hall when a pair of hands reached out and grabbed, yanking me into a classroom. The door shut behind me and I turned to find myself facing the boy called Allan. He had very pale brown hair, a set of glasses over a petite nose and big doe eyes. The girls always talked about him as an intellectual. Unlike Andrew though, few worked up the nerve to talk to him. He could often be found reading in the school library. He had tried to ask me out once, and now I knew he had asked to join the H club too.

“Hello, Jane, I am sorry to pull you in here so rudely, I decided it was pertinent that I spoke to you immediately.”

“Um… hello, Allan, I’m kind of busy right now.”

“I suppose there is no use in trying to sugar coat this. I have a secret that I must inform you of.”

“Please don’t.”

“You see, I do not come from this world.”

“Lalalalala, I can’t hear you.” I stuck my fingers in my ears for good measure, “Share your secrets with some other girl.”

“I assure you, I have analyzed every being within this school, and I am 99.72% sure that you are the appropriate person to hear-”

“That you’re gay? That’s fine! Samantha’s always wanted a gay friend.”

“I assure you, I am not of a homosexual persuasion, as a matter of fact, people from my planet reproduce-”

Did he say people from his planet? No! Don’t listen. It’s a trap. It’s a god-damn General Ackbar trap! Run Jane! Run before it’s too late.

“You see? I am what you would call an alien.”

I backed away, opening the door behind me, “An illegal immigrant? Well I’m okay with the Mexicans, got to go, bye!”

Allan pushed back his glasses on his nose, “Absolutely ridiculous.”

I turned and ran. No, no more guys. No more secrets. I’m not going to let this happen. Not now, not ever.

“Jane, stop!” The voice came from behind me.

“No, stop sharing your secrets with me!” I snapped and ran.

Who the hell did they think I was? Supernatural Oprah? Stop confessing to me! I glanced back to see if he was chasing me. As I turned back, I rammed full force into someone and found myself rolling down a stairway. Bodies and limbs wrapped around me as the pair of us rolled down a flight of stairs.

“Jane, are you okay?” Stephan spoke from under me.

“Yeah, I’m actually fine, not a bruise on me. Sorry, can’t talk, I’m in a hurry.”

I reached down, feeling for my purse. My fingers wrapped around a furry strap so grabbed it and yanked. It seemed to be under Stephan, so I gave it an extra yank to free it from under him.

“Sorry,” I shouted back as I ran, “I’m in a hurry to get somewhere.”

I turned a corner and continued running. I planned to be hiding in a locked room and out of Allan’s sight for the rest of the day. If I avoided him until mom came, maybe there was some kind of cooling off period and he’d decide not to tell me anything.

“Jane, you seem distressed.” Stephan’s voice came from beside me.

“I’m fine, Stephan, stop following me.” I turned to my side and realized he wasn’t there.

Checking my other side, I still didn’t see him. Stephan had been right next to me, hadn’t he?

“Well, you see, I don’t really have a choice in the matter.” He explained, sounding a little shaken.

The voice was coming lower down my side. I looked down to see my hand gripping a large chunk of hair. At the base was Stephan’s severed head, bouncing back and forth with each step.

“Oh my god!” I shouted, bringing his head up into both of my hands, “Why do I have your head?”

“It would appear,” Stephan suggested, “that the fall loosened my head up a bit and you yanked it off thinking you had your purse. If you would be so kind, would you return my head to my body?”

I considered heading back to the bottom of the stairs, but that was too close to where Allan was. If I headed there, he would be there. I would end up finding out his secret. I couldn’t let that happen to me. A plan worked itself out in front of me as I turned another corner. A glimpse out a nearby window revealed Andrew, Rune, and Alex all walking through the courtyard. Rune appeared to be the only one not carrying a box.

I ran up to an open window. “Hey, Rune, think fast!”

I chucked Stephan’s head down from the window. Rune did not think as fast as I had hoped. For a supernatural Demon, he did not have good reflexes. He lifted his arms a second too late, and Stephan’s severed head ended up smashing head first into Runes. Both boy’s collapsed to the ground.

“You guys got this!” I shouted to Andrew and Alex, who had dumbfounded looks on their faces.

I turned and ran. They’d be fine. Now it was just a matter of locking myself into a room and hiding until mom came to pick me up. Good plan, Jane, good plan. I ran up to the Janitor’s closet and swung open the door, shutting it closed behind me. I leaned back on it, taking deep breaths. It was over. I was safe. No attractive supernatural boys in-

I opened up my eyes. A boy was sitting in the middle of the janitor’s closet staring at me. His shirt was pulled up to his neck, and he had a series of cables and cords running out of his chest. Circuits flashed and blinked across the board that connected his chest. He was a very attractive boy. I recognized him; he was a freshman named Ryan, one of Samantha’s hawtness.

Ryan had brown hair that he always wore over his eyes. He wore sweatshirts and always had an mp3 player plugged in his ears when a teacher wasn’t yelling at him to take it out. The boy was supposed to be smart, although not as much of a bookworm as Allan. He also was cold as ice, turning down every girl who tried to ask him out. They said he never got scared or angry either. I was now suspecting I knew why.

My hopes, my dreams, and my life came crashing down around me. I slumped down to my knees. I tried… I tried so hard.

Ryan spoke up, “I suppose it would be appropriate if I gave you an explanation.”

“You really don’t have to.”

“You see, I am a ro-”

“Um… roleplaying. Your roleplaying and this is all some top notch costume design.”

“I apologize, is this an attempt at what you human’s call humor?”

“No, not really. Just the dying hope of a girl who gave it her all.”

“You are Jane Averygail, are you not?”

“Yeah,” I whimpered, “I’m Jane ‘freaking luck sucks’ Averygail.”

“May I shorten Jane ‘freaking luck sucks’ Averygail to Jane?”

“Be my freaking guest.”

“It appears you caught me performing my routine repairs. I had picked this spot because I had assumed it would be secluded and that no one would find me.”

“That’s why I picked this spot too.”

“So I am hearing that you want anonymity, is this correct?”

“You could say that.”

“Very well, I recommend that we part ways and feign that our meeting proved innocuous.”


“Let’s pretend this never happened.”

“Really?” I began to perk up.

“I think it wise if we do not speak to each other anymore, either. If we can part ways now, it will make the situation more acceptable.”

“Yeah, that sound great.”

“Then it is agreed,” Ryan nodded, “You may leave when you are comfortable.”

I nodded with a dumfounded expression on my face, leaving the room as soon as I recovered and turning down the hall. I was halfway back to the art room before I remembered why I had run away in the first place. Rune and Andrew were walking towards me with concerned looks on their faces.

“What is going on?” Rune asked, he seemed to have a bruise on his forehead now.

“Alex is reattaching Stephan’s head right now, but what the heck is going on with you? Stephan said you were panicked?” Andrew added.

“It’s just… Allan, and then…”

Both faces went dark at the same time, “What did this Allan person try to do?”

“I tried to show her something,” an arrogant voice came from around the corner.

Allan took a step out, and all of my hopes went with him. Andrew and Rune took a look at each other, then as a single unit advanced on Allan. I ran forward, trying to block them from attacking him. Allan didn’t do anything wrong. Why did these guys have to take it the wrong way?

Rune reached over and grabbed Allan’s shirt, but I wouldn’t let him get any closer. With some difficulty, I managed to keep Andrew at bay as well.

“What did you try to show her, your penis?” Rune demanded.

Allan scuffed, pushing his glasses back into place, “Ridiculous. I don’t have time for this. It’s better if I showed you.”

Allan pulled out a small device, tapping a few keys. I turned my head. No, this wasn’t happening. Today I was just going to go home, hang out with Samantha a little bit, no adventures of any kind. A white light appeared in a circle at our feet. The hallway around the four of us darkened to an impenetrable black.

“What in the world?” Andrew asked.

Andrew’s features started stretching up towards the sky. Runes did the same. Then my body started to stretch as I let out a scream. Oh great, here we go again. God damn it.

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